Asking the right questions when your kids are back at school

by Mixed Up Mama

Asking Questions after School: What are the right ones to ask and get some answers?

For millions of kids around the world, it’s the start of the school year.

And for just as many mums used to knowing every detail of our children’s lives, we are now left standing at the entrance of the school gate wondering just what the heck they get up to for those 6 hours away from us.

It’s a new year, a new class and for some, even a new school so it’s normal for parents to worry about how their child is faring and what the teacher is like?

The transition from reception to Year 1 for us has been especially challenging as the kids have reported feeling like there are more rules and definitely less playtime.

It’s been hard knowing we’re entrusting our kids with teachers whom we know very little about and how they interact with our children. Hence, the end of the day debrief is so important.

If your kids are anything like mine, getting them to tell you about their day is exhausting. I’ve tried everything- from bribery to punishment (yes, I said it!) just to get some answers!

Since when did asking questions after school become such hard work??

But I’ve found that if you ask the right questions, you can get something… Just don’t make the rookie mistake and ask them about their day. Even I can answer that one. “Fine, Mum. Can I go play now?”

So I thought I’d share a few of my favourite questions which have gotten me somewhere with my daughters.

Asking Questions After School: the RIGHT ONES to ask:

  • What was your favourite part of your day?
  • What didn’t you like about today?
  • Did you get into any trouble? What did the teacher do?
  • Was anybody mean? What did you do?
  • Who did you hang out with at lunch time play?
  • Did you do anything extra nice today?
  • Was anybody else extra nice to you today?
  • Who did you play with at lunchtime? And what did you play?
  • Did anybody else get in trouble today? What did the teacher say?
  • Who do you think needs a timeout?
  • What was the funniest thing that happened today?
  • What fact did you learn today?
  • What did you have for lunch? And who did you sit beside?
  • If you could go back and change one thing about your day, what would it be?
  • Did you put your hand up today to speak in front of the class? What about?
  • What did the head teacher talk about in assembly?
  • Which songs did you sing in music class?
  • What games did you play in P.E (Phys. Ed)?
  • If you could be friends with anyone that you haven’t yet made friends with, who would it be?
  • Did you finish your work today? If not, why not? If yes, what did you do when you finished?
  • On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your day?

I love to hear about the social dynamics at school as well as what they learned. I want to know that my child didn’t feel bullied, what the teacher’s approach to bad behaviour might be, who she plays with and how she relates to others…

If there is something you want to know about such as how the phonics lesson was taught, think of a way to ask it that isn’t, “what was your phonics lesson like?”

Just remember, keep it short because your kids will lose interest pretty fast so get the key questions in there fast and save the rest for later. Vary it up each day if you can and add your own!

Asking Questions after school is an art form not a science so make it up as you go along! I’m trusting you, my faithful readers to come up with much more ingenious ways to ask your kids about their day. Please share them here in the comments and I might even write a follow up later in the year.

For more from Mixed.Up.Mama, click below and read on!

10 Things Every Parent Should Do When Raising Mixed Race Kids

10 Best Extra Curricular Activities for Raising a Well Rounded Child

Choosing state vs private; why would you do it?

You may also like

Leave a Comment


Raising the Middle child: Does Birth Order Really Matter? - Mixed.Up.Mama May 1, 2018 - 2:54 pm

[…] For more from Mixed.Up.Mama on parenting, read about Asking the Right Questions to get more information from your kids about school.  […]

The Ultimate Guide to Handling After School Meltdowns - Mixed.Up.Mama September 14, 2018 - 2:10 pm


Select your currency
GBP Pound sterling